Indiana Jones and The Staff of Kings

Review - A good lashing

Given the endearing popularity of Indiana Jones as one of Hollywood's all-time greatest heroes, it was with a fuzzy warm sense of childlike anticipation that this reviewer popped Indian Jones and the Staff of Kings into the Wii, eager to actually become the intrepid archaeologist of his boyhood and embark on a new and original adventure.

However, despite the tantalising promise associated with beating, whipping and shooting prerequisite Nazis along the way to attaining the legendary Staff of Kings, which the Bible claims Moses used to part the Red Sea, it quickly becomes apparent that Indy's latest quest is bereft of exciting adventure but veritably overflowing with plodding disappointment.

Although the game's story stretches across a variety of international locations and does its best to capture the unique atmosphere and humour of its celluloid inspiration, it's often difficult to either enjoy or care about the story or the sound-a-like Indy when the game's surrounding structure is so relentlessly mediocre.

Set in a third-person perspective, Staff of Kings forces the player down a strictly linear corridor of blinkered action and pseudo exploration whereby Indy tackles shallow and annoying environmental puzzles before unleashing half-assed punches, lacklustre whip lashes and excitement-free gunplay upon waves of brain-dead enemies.

The puzzles often lack any form of explanation beyond interaction pop-up icons and must first be discovered before any solving can actually take place, which is a huge pain. And the game's intermittent action amounts to sluggish fist fights built around laughable cycles of running away, stopping and punching, running away, stopping and punching, while single-minded enemies give chase, stop and punch, give chase, stop and punch.

A semi-plus point in the gameplay (semi-plus, mark you) is found by employing Indy's trusty whip, which can be used via Remote wrist flicks when embroiled in fisticuffs in order to disarm weapon-toting enemies, pull specific foes off their feet, and also bring down perilous environmental elements upon unsuspecting groups. The whip gives Indy something of an edge in battle, but constantly having to escape ridiculous Keystone Cop pursuits to gain enough space to use it effectively means the reward almost always falls short of the required effort.

Then there are the game's ridiculously brief moments of gunplay, which see Indy inexplicably sucked behind duck-and-cover points during horribly scripted encounters, preventing him from further movement until all enemies have either been shot dead or killed by items in the environment that react to bullet impacts. It's literally seconds of fun.

Also, beyond the twitchy but literal point-and-shoot aiming mechanic and the basic motions of using the whip or sparking a flint to light a torch, the interactive Wii Remote and Nunchuk controls often lapse into pointlessly frantic bouts of arbitrary 'waggling' in order to ensure a flailing Indiana grasps a ledge with both hands or avoids a nasty death at the hands of a cheap quick time event. Again, you can count the seconds of fun on one hand.

In terms of presentation, Staff of Kings feels distinctly PlayStation 2 in the graphics department, with grimy, unimaginative visuals accented by jerky and unconvincing character animation and an Indy that looks distinctly cross-eyed when viewed close-up. Unsurprisingly, given the association with LucasArts, the soundtrack draws liberally from the sweeping scores penned by John Williams for the hugely popular Spielberg movie series - although only Indy's iconic revolver manages to match the in-game music's power when it comes to the largely unimpressive accompanying sound effects.

Unlike most videogames spawned from Hollywood, the sound-a-like actor filling the sizeable boots of Harrison Ford in Staff of Kings is commendably good, and certainly provides the standout performance in a cast so weighed down by hammy stereotypes it would blend perfectly in a pig farm populated by pigs wearing unconvincing pig costumes.

To be fair, Staff of Kings isn't completely unplayable and, while its faults are many, persistence for the sake of being Indy will likely pull many players along as they strive to evolve the story - the character created by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg really is that strong. But said appeal also leads to one of the game's most cutting disappointments, its supposedly 'original' storyline.

For example, the hunt for the Staff of Kings, much like the hunt for the lost Ark of the Covenant, opens with Indy chasing a kidnapped associate and her kidnappers down a series of cramped alleyways and back streets. In this case, that associate is not Marion Ravenwood but a young Chinese girl who fits the mould of Temple of Doom's comedy sidekick Short Round. And, at almost every turn, each precious artefact secured by Indy is swiftly lost at gunpoint to rival archaeologist Magnus Vller and some attending Nazis - just like scenes with Rene Belloq in Raiders. Factor in action that openly borrows from famous set pieces such as the mine cart sequence in Temple of Doom and the tank brawl in Last Crusade and there's really very little true originality on show here.

Considering the wealth of amazing movie content spawned by the creative powers at LucasFilm, it still boggles the mind that LucasArts is seemingly incapable of crafting a truly worthy gaming offshoot that encapsulates the wonder and excitement of Indiana Jones or the star-gazing imagination of Star Wars. Not that LucasArts and developer A2M are plumbing quite the same depths as other studios similarly guilty of repeatedly half-baked productions, but Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings is such a hopelessly flat experience that it's hard to recommend it to anyone other than absolute Indy fanatics.

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